Day 88....Eve of the New Year.

Day 88...Eve of the New Year.

2014 and even 2013 were great years because they collectively prepared me and educated me on this journey to take back my life. I don't ever want to hear one more doctor utter the words, "You are a walking time bomb." Now that some time has passed, a quick reflection on how I got so large and the main thing I keep thinking about is my weight gain was a symptom and a side effect of many things. I didn't just wake up one day and start a love affair with bad food. Food became a substitute for loneliness, love, companionship, boredom, escapism, and it turned into the eventual loss of all HOPE because the larger I became, the more I turned to food. It was a VISCIOUS CYCLE. I know that food is not the problem and that the true issue that needs to be worked on is the REASON I turned to food. I now realize that my search for WHY doesn't have to be this huge singular event that I kept searching for (thank you Sarah N.) or even a multitude of events; it simply was many situations that made me gravitate towards food to anesthetize, medicate, and numb the feelings away. I have to realize that we all have these feelings and that some look for ways to not feel while others feel and learn to acknowledge them, process them and organically move past them. And the lucky ones are able to prevent the bad ones from happening by staying fit, listening to their mind body and soul and truly understanding that we are the only ones responsible for our happiness.  Things nor people can bare that responsibility: true happiness is from within. Saying goodbye to 2014 is ok because it held great knowledge, great coaches, loving and supportive people that I reconnected with, amazing trainers, an incredible nutritionalist, my rock of a family that never gives up on me, and HOPE!!!  All of which are coming with me to 2015 because I still have LOTS OF WORK TO DO!!  Let's do this!!! My book of 365 days in 2015 will begin the way my last 88 days began....making myself a priority so I can be the best version of myself to friends, family, students, and all.