This is a picture of me with the coveted Crystal Bronco that the teachers bestow upon one another at staff meetings when a teacher has gone above and beyond, when there is reason to celebrate their efforts, etc. It is a very rewarding privilege to receive this Bronco. Just to give you perspective, I have been working at the same school for 3 1/2 years and this is the first time I have ever received it. Honetly, I have so much more room to improve as a teacher and all the previous recipients have all been given it for EXCEPTIONAL reasons. I truly never felt I was going to be given that symbol of love and respect until I really stepped up and did something amazing. The teacher who decided to give it to me yesterday in front of my fellow colleagues said the most beautiful, admirable, and thoughtful things. I then found out she was talking about me and when she started to tear up and said my name, I started to cry. My fellow colleague was saying such wonderful things about me and I wanted to bottle that moment in time. I was so SURPRISED!!! I love you Rebecca!! To be acknowledged for the journey I am on and for it to be considered inspirational to fellow staff and students is OVERWHELMING!! We all have our struggles that we are working on. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TOO, REBECCA!!! You are always in my thoughts. Xoxoxo
If I am really honest, I have to tell you that I have feelings of being undeserving of this acknowledgement. I have hang ups that I am dealing with as I share this journey publicly. I know that what got me here was an OBVIOUS over abundance of food and minimal exercise. Very simply put, I virtually was on a path of suicide by food. I have NO EXCUSE!!! I gave up and lived like a sloth. I was dying and not living. To make a change and look for hope, guidance and strength from myself and loved ones was what I needed but I was so afraid that the response was going to be a dismissive "she is just lazy and she just needs to stop eating so much and get exercise." I am sorry I got this way to myself and of course to my family, especially my parents who gave me this precious life. I am so sorry that I have abused and taken for granted this gift. All I can say is when I started to gain the weight it became cyclical which created the weight gain to increase exponentially. I was unable to run, which depressed me so I ate, I left my job and felt like a failure so I ate, my clothes stopped fitting so I ate. The less I was able to move and the more I ate for various reasons created this extreme weight gain. I know I worried you. I hope that this new lifestyle will give you a moment to breathe, relax and not worry so much!!
This was truly a hard journal to write tonight. I loved being acknowledged by my fellow colleagues because I have discovered I NEED YOU!!
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