Day 123...I fell down, but I got back up.

Day 123....I fell down, but I got back up.

So.....I have been absent and that is the biggest sign I am not doing well. However, I am happy to report I am doing great! I want you all to know that I finished my third day being back on track. I am doing MUCH BETTER!!  I went crazy Thursday night with Roundtable pizza and I topped it off with some cookies from Wholefoods. In fact, on the spin bike Thursday night, all I did was obsess about Roundtable. Friday was even worse!!! I ate bad all day long!! I was starting to get very worried that I was coming undone. I beat myself up in the gym all Saturday and then woke up Sunday STARVING!!  I was supposed to continue my juice fast but I lost control again all Sunday. I hate that my mind thinks that food is a way to comfort myself. In the end, it only makes me feel worse about myself. That is such a weird thing to discover. I am feeling some kind of "FEEL/EMOTION" and instead of finding some other way to cope with it, I run to food to medicate myself, when I know that is the worst decision. The one thing I am taking away from this blip in my journey.......I will no longer have "cheat food" by myself. I need to eat around people to be held accountable. I feel even worse because I have learned a great deal about nutrition and not only did I seriously overeat for two and half days, but I poisoned my body with processed food, chemicals, GMOs and all sorts of crap. I think I was hoping that my mind had permanently shifted to thinking about food differently. Sunday was the worst day. I was so afraid I was not going to be able to get back on track. I wanted to be locked up in a cage and have no access to food except for scheduled "feeding" times. I was at a point where I didn't even trust my ability to be around any kind of food. I wanted to go back to having my food prepared, delivered and portioned out. I was weak and I admit it. I hate that feeling and I hope that this journey lessens that feeling someday. Food is LOVE and it is your way of thanking your body for giving you strength, energy, etc.