Rough day!! I don't understand why I would even crave junk food when it has done NOTHING for me. It is not my friend, it doesn't love me, it doesn't hold my hand, it won't marry me or bring me a child, it won't help me do anything but give me.....maybe....10 minutes of pleasure. Then I would get sick with a tummy ache and end up feeling terrible about myself. This is a very familiar state. I would become obsessive over food and even go to bed dreaming about it. I would wake up and be so happy that I did not succumb to a bingeing episode. I would be so happy I stayed strong. I have talked to people about this feeling and be told to wait it out and the feeling will pass. Sometimes it would last for days and I eventually give in. It is like I have a tantruming kid inside me and I have created this monster that will outlast my willpower. I do BELIEVE that each time I outlast the tantruming kid inside me, the time will be lessened with each battle won. I want to be stronger this time because I choose LIFE!!!
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