Way out of my comfort zone!!! Putting myself out there was going to be freeing!! Everyone can now see what I have done to myself, no more hiding!! However, I found myself wanting desperately to hide even more and find comfort. When I have all this love and support, why did I find myself at the grocery store with a basket of crap food??!! Why did I find myself saying the same words I have said over and over......I will start tomorrow. Why did I fall so hard??!! I am so exposed now.....I can't fail!! I would feel even worse about myself!! People will judge me even more. Why didn't I have enough willpower?!! But it is not about everyone else. It is about me and my life. It is about me and my goals, values, and love for myself. Is what I am doing right now in support of my desired life..? No. Then let this time be a momentary lapse and leave it behind and continue towards the path that follows your beliefs.
Around day 5.......I did it!!! I dug myself out of the pity party that has always led to an unraveling of all good I have done. The "ALL or NOTHING" mentality....NO MORE!!!! It has been two days of better choices (positive thoughts, good food choices, and time at the gym).
Time to update every day.
I also started Simply Fresh two days ago. It was part of my plan till I start feeling more in control over my food choices and portions. They deliver twice a week and everything you eat is there. I don't have to go to the grocery store for any supplemental food. I know this is an easy way out but it is temporary till I start to respect food again.
Food = Fuel. Great job planning ahead!
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