Good day!! I have done A LOT of talking over the last 10 years acknowledging my weight problem because I wanted people to know that I was aware I have a major issue. Ha ha ha!! Like they didn't know. I was also self effacing, withdrawn, tried to shrink in meetings or other obligatory events. For some reason, I thought that if I talked about my weight first or made fun of it, then somehow I would get less judgement or put the people I was with, at ease. What happened is, that ended up being ALL I ever talked about with anyone and everyone. I became so isolated in my misery of obesity that it completely consumed me ALL THE TIME!! I guess the only time I was not thinking about it was when I was in a food comatose or sleeping it off. Through this time, I pushed so many people away. I did not want to be the 3rd, 5th, 7th....wheel anymore. I did not want to go to anymore weddings, baby showers, etc., because my life had stopped and everyone's life was moving forward. Because I have been branching out more, I am starting to realize the importance of friends. They never judged me. I judged myself enough for everyone. I transferred my own judgements to them. We talked about my weight because I brought it up. Of course, they were concerned for my health and happiness; however, their love and support never waivered. This is for every friend out there, "I love you. Thank you for your patience while I find the peace and strength to find the right path. I am so so so sorry that I was too selfish in this sickness to witness the most incredible and wonderful experiences in your life. You have ALWAYS been on my mind." Speaking of friends new and old, I met Jen because we had to share a classroom. Fast forward 3 years and I am so glad we met. She is one of the most amazing friends. If it weren't for sharing a classroom that first year.... well, I don't know, because I certainly kept to myself and rarely did anything except with my parents. Here we are today having lunch and sharing some good laughs!! Connecting with people is truly priceless!! Why did I push EVERYONE away when you give me strength, support, love, laughs, hugs, things to do, etc.? I WAS NUTSO!!!
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